A Nameless Feeling
by Softballa13tondalayo
Summary: Rin and Hisao are tackling a new challenge together: college! With Hisao working while studying, Rin has to learn to be more independent, especially with the unexpected challenges coming her way. How will Hisao juggle all of his new roles, and how will Rin adjust? Will they ever reach true understading? Fluffy story with actual plot. No smut...maybe citrus. Keep it kosher ppl.
1. Perfect Strangers and Orange Slices

**I don't own anything related to Katawa Shoujo, nor do I pretend to. Please forgive any minor grammatical errors, since I have no Beta.**

**Thank you and enjoy!**

* * *

It was a day like any other; the summer months were approaching and the weather in Tokyo was steadily warming up. The city was sprawling with activity, as usual, and among the commuters was one young man by the name of Hisao Nakai.

Hisao's light brown hair was whipping behind him as he ran to the bus station, slipping on his coat while shuffling school papers in his arms. He was running late to catch the midday bus home, and though normally he tried not to over-exert himself, today it couldn't be helped.

As he ran he was silently thanking Emi, wherever she was at the moment, for keeping him on a strict exercise regimen and allowing him to live more normally in spite of his arrhythmia. Before, in his high school years where he let his condition control his life, he never thought he could ever participate in sports or do something as simple as running again. Now he was here, keeping up with the fast-paced city, and studying at Nihon University. Life changed before he knew it, and Hisao was glad of it.

As he neared the stop, he was relieved to see that the bus was still there. Upon closer inspection he realized that the delay was thanks to a young girl in a wheel chair. The process the driver had to take to lower the bus' ramp and buckle the wheelchair into place was a few minutes long, and that was all Hisao needed to get there before it left.

After tapping his bus pass on the cash machine, he took a seat next to the girl in question. She looked to be a few years younger than him, maybe a year from graduating senior high school. Her sailor _fuku_ was black, and her shoulder-length hair was dark blue. She was on edge, and her slight frame seemed to shrink smaller and smaller as more and more passengers snuck peeks at her. She caught him looking and blushed, turning away in shame and discomfort.

He turned away as well, and tried looking out at the other passengers, and even the people on foot outside of the window he was leaning on. He liked to watch people, especially in the city where so many of them get together, doing any number of things that endlessly fascinated him: like a few very bored schoolchildren who routinely poke a sleeping homeless man he knew to be called "Dirty Shou," or the antics of a troupe of mimes that performed by the park every day at noon.

Looking back at the girl, who by now had withered under the inquiring gazes of the passengers in the bus, Hisao felt a pang in his chest. It wasn't the heart-murmur kind, but the nostalgic kind that tugged at old memories of a girl back in his high school years who had the same issue with crippling shyness. Her name rose up slowly from a deep place in his mind, _Hanako Ikezawa._ Though he had never known her very well, and had generally kept to himself and a small group of friends, he remembered her because this girl in from of him made him think of her. He didn't want this girl to end up like Hanako did: fading into the shadows until all that was left of her was a fading memory and a blank image in the yearbook with her name underneath.

He quickly tore out a sheet of paper from his school folder and scribbled a note to her, getting so enthused that it turned out longer than he intended. He placed it discreetly on her person before casually looking out the window, giving her a private moment to read. She jumped a little when the paper landed on her lap, and she quickly plucked the folded note and read:

_'You shouldn't be ashamed of your disability. Straighten up and look forward; nothing can really change, only your perception of your situation. You look like a nice girl, and I wanted you to know that I am disabled as well. _

_I used to be a lot like you, and to this day I regret ever letting my disability rule my life and turn me into a recluse. I have arrhythmia, and for a long time I lived in constant fear of the day my heart finally gave out. But once I was able to embrace it and get past it, I found I could live to seize the day and make the most of my life._

_I ran here today, despite having arrhythmia. My girlfriend is a successful artist, despite having no arms; and my personal trainer is a championship runner, even though she lost her legs years ago._

_Work hard and you will be able to go places and accomplish things you never dreamed of. Don't be ashamed of your disability; embrace it.'_

Her hands seemed to tremble, and she looked up to thank this kind stranger, but when her eyes found his seat, he was no longer there. The bus had stopped, and Hisao had gotten off, hoping he could be of some comfort to a kid who reminded him of days gone by.

* * *

After paying for his purchases, Hisao hefted the sack of oranges over his shoulder, adjusted his other bags in his other hand, and made his way to the flat he shared with Rin.

Rin. He found himself smiling just thinking about her. He could hardly imagine life without her, and didn't want to. It was nice to come home to her every night and to have someone to share his day with. Having Rin there is what made his little apartment a home.

Originally, his parents weren't too keen on letting him go to school in the city, what with it being so far away, but in time they came to accept the fact that he was going regardless of their opinion. What was really hard to pass by them was the fact that he would be living with his girlfriend. Alone. Unsupervised.

Rin parents were easy enough to talk to, since their daughter would have someone to attend to her daily needs. His mother was understandably concerned, but, upon seeing her son's resolve, said nothing to deter him.

"For the love of God, if you're going to do this, use protection," his dad had said after relenting. Hisao had turned red and tried to stutter out a denial, but his father interrupted him. "Don't think I don't know what kids these days are up to. I was young once like you too, you know."

"I… I," Hisao had muttered pathetically, too taken aback by his father's request to really form a coherent thought.

"Just say you will; for your old man's sake. I'm not yet sure this whole heart thing isn't genetic, and it would be a shame if you gave your mother a heart attack by knocking this girl up," his father had added with a chuckle. Ryouta Nakai was never one to delve into sober talks with his son, and turning things into a joke was his general approach to most things when it came to stern parenting.

Remembering this, Hisao found himself laughing out loud in the middle of the shopping plaza. He ignored the looks people gave him and started walking faster, eager to get home. Soon enough, his complex appeared over the trees on the other side of the street. He took the stairs up to the third floor slowly, forced to forego taking the elevator. It was currently shut down for repairs.

As good as he had been doing earlier, he did get a bit winded on the way up, and found himself panting after only the third flight of steps. _'Another hurdle to get past'_, he thought optimistically. Maybe with time he could get to the point where climbing those steps didn't tire him out.

He got to his door and entered with a flourish, calling, "I'm home~!" He put his bags down on a small end table by the door and carried the oranges with him into their small kitchen. The flat was well lit thanks to the large glass windows to the right wall facing the city. It illuminated the already-spacious area, or rather, the area was spacious for a studio apartment.

The door fed into a small hallway where, around the corner, their little kitchen was snuggled up beside a room divider that led into Rin's studio nook. Her workspace was littered with art supplies, and the window she worked next to cast a brilliant, multi-colored light as it was smeared with all manner of paints. The roof was slanted over half their apartment, as they occupied a corner flat.

It was nice, by any standard, and Hisao felt fortunate that they managed to buy this place with what little they had.

As he turned the corner of a rice-paper room divider, he was met with a familiar voice calling out a muffled "Hello". Rin was at her stool, one brush in the grasp of her right foot, and another two dangling from her mouth. Her shock of red hair had flecks of paint in it, and the untied sleeves of her white shirt swayed, empty, in the breeze that was created by the overhead fan. She had no arms, the effects of being born with Phocomelia, a defect that left her with severely underdeveloped arms. It was due to this that she was currently painting with her feet.

She twitched as though she wanted to turn and look at him properly, but was too absorbed in her artwork to act on the impulse. Hisao leaned in to kiss her on her cheek, seeing as how her mouth was occupied at the moment. She took her gaze off of the painting and her large, forest green eyes settled on the sack of produce in the crook of his arm.

"Ah dose orangef?" she asked through the brushes in her mouth. In answer, Hisao chuckled, and with a solid _whump_, plopped the bag onto the kitchen counter before turning to her and telling her he had to change first.

He walked off to the bedroom at the back of the apartment, found in an elevated alcove set in the wall above their sitting area. The living room was large, considering that they had no TV and no dining area. The kitchen counter doubled as their table; and who needed television with Rin around? Rather than a sofa, there was a floor couch that wrapped around a rug Hisao had gotten as a going-away present from his mother.

Stepping over his laptop table and a discarded textbook, Hisao quickly changed out of his stiff coat and into some loose sweats and a tee shirt. He came back to find Rin had moved to one of the stools by the kitchen table, eyes intently watching him as he approached.

There had been a time when he looked at her from behind in the atelier above Sae's gallery and he was resentful of the fact that Rin had never seemed to ever really be looking at him. Then it seemed Rin's heart was some guarded, dangerous territory. Now he could feel her attention on him more than ever. He would sometimes catch her looking his way and it made him happy that, for once, he wasn't looking at her from behind… she was finally looking back at him.

"Will you be sharing those, or is there something else you had in mind?" she asked in her usual way. She loved oranges. They were a rare delicacy for her, seeing as she couldn't peel them without assistance. It was for this reason that Hisao took pleasure in buying oranges to share with her.

Hisao laughed and grabbed an orange and began peeling it, wondering how he ever got to be with someone like Rin.

* * *

Later, when the sun was casting long shadows outside, Hisao was reading a book on the floor couch while the smell of dinner wafted in from the kitchen.

He tilted his head all the way over the back of the chair and looked at Rin, seated atop a platform he had built for her so she could cook with her feet at level with the waist-high countertop. They had always been rotating cooking duty, but sometimes, when Rin wanted to clear her head, she worked on learning new recipes or trying new things even on days when it was Hisao's turn. Days like today.

Cooking was always something she had aspired to try, and now, when she felt her head clogged like an artery ready to burst, when her thoughts could not be sorted by art alone, she cooked. It was at times like these where Hisao could see her more often wearing a soft smile of satisfaction. She didn't lapse into a trance the way she did when she painted. It was a whole new kind of fixation. Granted, she never made more than was necessary to feed them, since her toes could only handle so much weight when it came to heavy pots and pans.

She had doffed her overalls, as they tended to irritate her legs when exposed to steam from the rice. Her legs were bare except for a pair of baggy shorts, and her naked stumps poked out of the short-sleeved shirt she wore. Even so, a bit of perspiration stuck her bangs to her forehead.

"How is everything, Rin?" Hisao asked over his shoulder, "are you sure you don't want my help?" He worried, even though he knew how dexterous she was with her feet, that something would happen whenever she dealt with hot surfaces. Rin was known to have a flighty attention span.

"No. I find that when I do this alone, the flock of butterflies clears out of my head. As though it doesn't like the steam or something," she replied in all seriousness. When talking with her, one must retain an open mind and quickly keep up with her metaphors.

"You mean it clears your head?"

"Yes. No… I think, but I'm not sure. It's hard to say, but it's as if the dam in my head that holds back all these loud, fuzzy things suddenly opens and lets it all flow out of me and into thin air. What's left are small ones that are easier to handle. I feel like I lose weight, but not in the sick way; in the way that you do when you come out of the bathroom."

Hisao wrinkled his nose, more than a little put off by her bathroom imagery.

"Does that mean you have to use the toilet, then?" he asked, trying to make a joke.

"As a matter of fact, I do, now that I think about it," she replied, hopping off of the platform and taking long, calm strides to the private toilet found just inside the living room. She turned the door handle with her foot, already wearing her toilet shoes, and kicked it closed behind her.

It was in this manner that Hisao found himself alone with the unfinished dinner, desperate not to burn it before she got back.

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	2. Saving Water

In the morning, Hisao was roused awake by the sound of something tumbling down the little ladder that led up to the "bedroom", which was really no more than a bed set in a high alcove above the book shelf. He turned over to find the spot next to him empty.

He could hear a faint and succinct, "ow," come from the floor. Looking over his shoulder at the bottom of the steps, he found Rin lying on her side. He flew out of bed, coming to her side to help her up.

"Rin! Are you alright?" he asked frantically.

"Hello Hisao," Rin replied, insistent on greeting him as she always did.

"What happened? You never fall," he pressed.

"I can't say I know, really. The last step sort of skipped away, and I went tumbling after it, I think," she explained. Hisao took her to mean she felt a sudden vertigo on her way out of bed.

"Well, try to be more careful, okay? You wouldn't want to be breaking your leg."

"Yes," she agreed, a little distracted. As he helped her up, she winced slightly as he placed a steadying hand on her hip.

They both went into the bathroom, where Hisao first helped Rin brush her teeth before doing his own. Since Hisao had no class in the morning today, he thought to spend some quality alone time with Rin before work. They hardly got to just sit around and enjoy each other's silent company anymore.

As Rin prepared to take her morning shower, wiggling out of the boxer shorts she wore last night while turned away from him, Hisao hugged her from behind. Rin turned around in his arms, quizzically lifting an eyebrow in silent question.

"How 'bout we save some water and shower together today?" he asked.

She donned her trademark mini-smirk, choosing to answer his question wordlessly in a kiss. This in itself meant a great deal to Hisao. Just a few months ago she could never bring herself to replace an answer with a casual display of affection like this. She always had to ask why, always had to find the words to define this flying sensation, this wonderful feeling of being with the person you loved. Just a few months ago, she had still been struggling with saying the words "I love you."

That first time she confessed to him, in that dandelion field at Yamaku, she had stuck her tongue out, saying the words "tasted weird." Hisao remembered that all too well: how he feared her words were mere tests, drivel coming from the mouth of a passive lover. But it had all turned out for the best in the end.

He lifted her shirt and found the beginnings of a bruise over the arc of her hip bone. Upon inspecting the blooming purplish mark on her pale skin, Rin tried wiggling her hip a bit. "Ow," she winced again. Hisao traced his fingers over the mark, making sure to be gentle so as not to hurt her. He was glad she got off with only a bruise, since the fall from the landing of their bedroom was no small potatoes. It was a wonder she didn't knock her head on something on the way down.

Rin's sleepy eyes widened a bit as her feet were swept from under her and she suddenly found herself pressed against Hisao's broad chest. He was by no means a built guy, but his recent physical therapy sessions with Emi left him in good shape. He carried her slight frame easily in his arms, walking to the one couch they had under the bedroom next to the book case. He proceeded to strip, not in any rush since his whole morning was free.

"Why did you do that?" she asked him curiously, head cocked ever-so-slightly to the side. Hisao looked thoughtful for a moment as he changed out of his pajamas. "I can walk, you know."

"Do what, Rin?"

"That," she said, motioning to the open space between them with her stumps. Hisao chuckled; he knew exactly what she was talking about, but sometimes he really liked to mess with her. "I thought you had a heart problem, not a memory issue."

"What's 'that'?"

"Carry me, that's what." she answered in a voice that betrayed only the slightest hint of impatience.

"Well if you say so." Hisao, now undressed, scooped her small form into his arms again and marched into their little bathing area, surprising her yet again.

**Thanks for reading!**

**I will write as often as I can, but AP tests are right around the corner so updates will be short for the time being. **

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	3. Hooks and Half-digested Thoughts

**A/N:**

**Hello. Sorry for the late update, and a short one at that! I promise I will get back up to full speed when AP Exams are over and done with, but for now, there is still too much to be done before then. :D**

**I do not own Katawa Shoujo or its characters, as much as I wish I did...**

* * *

Rin was lying down on the floor of the apartment, looking up at the clouds out of the windows of the apartment's slanted roof. Her legs were thrown over the cushions of the floor couch and her red hair was splayed out under her head, glinting in the midday sunlight. There was a tray of her half-eaten breakfast lying haphazardly on the small coffee table.

Hisao had left for the book store an hour ago; he had been in such a hurry -running late after their shared bath ran a little long- that he had even forgotten to help her dress for the day. She was in nothing bu her underwear when he left.

She had had all weekend and all morning alone with him, and only now did she remember she had to tell him that her new class would start this week. She had signed up for a Philosophy of Knowledge course at her school to make up for a credit she was missing.

She shrugged it off though. She would tell him when he got back… or when she got back; whichever of them got home last today.

After all, she could hardly be expected to remember to tell him earlier, when they were…distracted. Rin's cheeks blushed a slight pink thinking of their shared bath. Hisao was the only man she had ever been with in an intimate way, and as unimpressed and distant as she normally seemed, she was actually a very emotional being; she just had a hard time expressing it.

She had an especially difficult time adjusting to Hisao as a boyfriend, particularly because, even for a guy, he was touchy. It was, at times, very trying to have to keep up with him, and more than once in the past she's ended up sleeping over at Emi's dorm room in Tsubaka to get away from him and clear her head. He was always the one to come to her for forgiveness, she being the more stubborn one of the both of them.

Their relationship had many facets, of which she was a master of none. They had been together for two years and yet there were still many new things for her to understand every day. It seemed like being with someone was more work than it was worth. At first.

Now it was something as natural for her as breathing. They had tackled many hurdles together, one of which being her dependence as a double-amputee.

In the time he had spent with Rin, Hisao had gotten systematically used to helping her with much of her daily personal care. Recently, however, she had taken to learning to do a few things by herself, seeing as how they couldn't always spend much time with one another while Hisao attended school and worked at the local book store.

She could put on her own undergarments now, and thanks to a handy stick with a hook at the end, she also puts on her own shirt and pants, albeit slowly. Though she was still new to it, she insisted on doing it as often as possible, much to Hisao's amusement and disappointment. Dressing her had become an intimate bonding moment for him, he had explained to her once.

She had just finished getting dressed by herself for the first time in a while.

Looking up at the clouds, Rin contemplated four things at once: the morning's clumsy lovemaking, , having two left feet, rainbows without rain, and damned if there wasn't something else she had forgotten to remember.

* * *

**Leave some reviews por favor, I love feedback and maybe it would incite faster updates on my part...just a suggestion. :3**

*****UPDATE*****

**Sorry for being to absent lately! I truly feel terrible for not getting to this story as often as I could, but graduation was coming up and lots of things were going on and still are.**

**I hate it when other writers go on about never abandoning their stories when in the end they do so anyway. I don't wanna do that to you guys, so all I'll say for sure is that I am writing as of now, and have been very prolific in writing more Rin goodness, and you should expect an update at some point.**

**I won't make promises b/c then it kills everything, so I'll just say thanks for sticking it out and being amazing! I'll be back soon and thanks for the patience. This transition is kinda overwhelming and some understanding really helps!**


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